Changing Her Mind
by diannarozlapa
Summary: "I stared at him, hoping that he would initiate the friendship and then I could ignore him and make him really work for it." Ayn has found an unusual friend in Remus during her second year at Hogwarts. She tried to get rid of him, but he's just like a dog: the more one tries to get away, the more the dog comes after one.
1. Prologue

"I know pretty much everything about you," Remus snapped, eyebrows raised, immediately followed by a huge smile. He knowingly and constantly ridiculed me.

"You do not!"

His lip protruded and with furrowed eyebrows, Remus stared me down, "Yeah, right. Girls pull that 'mysterious' act way too often. You're honestly the easiest person to figure out. Tell me something that you think I do not know."

I looked away from him and stared at the lake.

He laughed again. Just once, but in my head it rang and echoed and I felt my face reddening with anger, every freckle blending into my skin. "Thought so, mate."

I glanced back at him from underneath my hair.

"You are such a child," Remus taunted as he stared down onto the parchment. "What? You think you're such a mystery because you talk enough, but rarely say anything of substance?"

"What the hell is your problem?" I shouted. I couldn't sit next to him any longer because I would choke him in the next five seconds if he continued infantilizing me.

"I don't have a problem," Remus nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders and picked up his books from the grass. He reached for the tree trunk to support him before getting up and cleaning off his trousers.

"You are not walking away while I'm talking to you," I murmured to myself and cried out, "You're insufferable! A know-it-all! You're a hypocrite!"

He spun around and built up his frame to gain even more height over me. "You're a child!"

I hated being humiliated. "Shut up!" I yelled, pushing him in the chest. I hated Remus. I hated him. I've never hated anyone more than him as we stood in this moment, face to face and screaming at each other.

Remus gained back the inch to which I miserably set him back. "No! I'll never stop saying it. You're a child. You're immature. You lead people on!"

"Oh, stop being such a girl about it! You. Are. Not. My. Type." I spat every word, staring right into his face

Remus was momentarily taken aback, but immediately regained his stance and composure, seemingly growing even more in height. Despite my big mouth, I felt small. I felt exactly like a child.

"Then what exactly is your type? Brawny Quidditch player, unable to tie two words together?"

"Well, wouldn't your precious Sirius be upset about what you think of him?"

"Don't put that on me! You know what I meant. Answer the question. Is a Quiddtich player your type?" he shouted, his nostrils flaring.

I stopped stretching from my toes and regained my normal height. I knew what to say, and as I crossed my arms and cocked an eyebrow, I smirked, "No, but I'd prefer a Quidditch player over someone with skin like a cutter and a monthly menstrual cycle that reflects on his already vile character. I have enough of those in my dormitory."

And then Remus left and I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel anything except disgust. I hated him and I hated myself, too.


	2. Chapter 1

Remus has been my friend for three years. I have never been his.

He was soft, malleable, and tame and before second year, the year he became my friend, he has just always been around. He grew up across the street from me and I used to sit underneath the lemon tree in my front yard and stare at him. I would glare at him as he lied on the grass, trying to soak in the sun, even on cloudy days. I glared at him because all I wanted was to talk to him and because even though he said nothing and did nothing, he was this person, this boy who drew me in with his absolutely batty behavior.

Now that I think about it, I don't think that I was drawn to him as much as I made myself believe I was. I think the reason for that magnetic pull was because I was a bored, homeschooled half-blood. He was a bored, homeschooled half-blood. I thought it fitting for us to be friends. I wanted the friendship to just happen. I hated working for things. That's why I stared at him, hoping that he would initiate the friendship and then I could ignore him and make him really work for it.

It was a stupid plan because he stared at the sun and not across the street. It was also a stupid plan because when it worked, I realized that he was too nice to be my friend. I was too cruel inside, but I was embarrassed of him finding out that I've been pretending to be this friend-like character. I think he felt sorry for me because I was vile and I felt sorry for him to because he was wasting his time.

I didn't know I had a problem until he cut me off.

I did, but, before he cut me off, I couldn't bring myself to accept that I was one of the worst people ever. I never felt like I belonged in the socially-talented pack of Gryffindors, but I dragged along anyway. I think they figured out that I was pretending to like them, but they felt sorry for me and pretended to like me, too.

To clarify, Remus has always been a friend to me. I don't deserve to be called his friend.

I started dating Sirius Black in December of our fourth year.

::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.::

"Are you kidding me?" I mumbled, looking around the library, hoping that no one has heard what Remus Lupin just said. His words probably seemed so much louder to me than to the people across the room, judging by the fact that he was sitting across from me and they were across the room. I was being silly. I was embarrassed. I hated being ridiculed.

"What?" he grinned, shrugging his shoulders. "He told me to tell you."

"No," I was extremely unconvincing in my protest. "He's messing with me because he's annoying and immature."

"He's my best friend. I think I would know if he was messing with you," Remus whispered and continued writing.

"He's Sirius Black," I hissed, dramatically leaning forward and once again looking around the library for potential eavesdroppers.

"So what?" Remus leaned forward, his eyes piercing me. I was appalled. I couldn't think of anything to say. "Thought so," Remus laughed. "Besides no one is proposing marriage to you. There's no need to be so dramatic. Even if he was messing with, which he is not, why should you care?"

I was flabbergasted. "Because I don't know! It just doesn't make sense. I've literally talked to him one time."

Remus's voice became high-pitched in disbelief. "You've been Potions partners for the last three months."

"I meant, I've only talked to him once about something other than crushed beatle eyes." I shuffled my parchment and nervously started stacking it without a purpose.

My friend smirked and leaned back into his chair. "Well, maybe he likes your face."

My jaw dropped. "My face?"

Remus raised his arms in protest. "I don't know what goes through Sirius's head. And don't be so shocked about your face. You're pretty. Don't even attempt to pull that attention-seeking hoax on me."

"That's not what I'm acting so shocked about, Remus." I stacked my books and began placing them into my bag. "It just never made sense to me how someone can like someone for their face and not the things that they say. There's no substance. No fuel for conversation. Nothing in common." I mumbled the last part, starting to shove books into my bag more rapidly.

Screwing the cap back onto his ink bottle, Remus said, "Hey, Sirius is not like that. He's not a bad person."

I picked up my parchment and my bag and stood up. I looked at Remus who was trying so hard to make a great sales pitch and I felt angry about Sirius not coming to me himself. Boys were so stupid. Girls, too. Everyone had to get their friends involved. "See you later."

Remus blinked and smiled close-mouthed. He continued placing his books back into his bag, waiting for class to end.

I walked to Potions and arrived at the dungeons too early. Once my classmates began filing into the hall by the door, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around.

"I asked Remus to ask you something for me, but just in case he didn't, and I hope this isn't too awkward, but will you go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" Sirius Black blurted out.

"I'm not going to hold hands with you." I cocked an eyebrow and crossed my arms.

"Never part of the deal," he smiled and looked at me.

I turned around, attempting to flip my ponytail in his face. It didn't work. "Sure."


End file.
